Chapter 39

In the mornin', I treated Jake and Izzy to a big breakfast at the the inn afore startin' back on our journey. We was sayin' goodbye to Jake today, and as much as I looked forward to bein' alone with Izzy, I was feelin' right sad to see my friend go.

We'd said goodbye twice in the last couple of months, but somethin' in my heart telled me that it would be a long time afore I'd see him again after today.

But, as good a friend as he was to me, it didn't alter the fact that I wanted to hit him on accounta the way he kept snickerin' durin' the meal.

Afore I had a chance to call him on it though, Izzy was all over him. No flies was ever likely to light on my Missus, that was for true.

"Jake Black, if ya don't mind me askin', what's it that's got ya sittin' over there actin' all smug, like ya know a funny tale ya ain't sharin' with the rest of us."

He looked up at my wife with a gleam in his eye, and I knowed this conversation warn't gonna end well.

"Well, now that ya ask Izzy, I'll tell ya." He took a sip of his coffee afore continuin'. "When I met up with ya this mornin' I thought I'd be intrudin' on a lovers' breakfast." I could see Izzy's cheeks already startin' to pink. "Ya know, where ya'd be all mooney-eyed with each other, and for true, I've seen some of that, but mostly I find it amusin' that y'all are eatin' like a couple of horses." He then let out a laugh, "So I reckon ya was both up to some strenuous activities last night which give ya'll some fearsome appetites."

I couldn't stop myself from kickin' him under the table.

Izzy was red-faced by now and her mouth was hangin' open in surprise. Didn't take long 'til she recovered herself though.

She clamped her mouth shut afore scowlin' at Jake. "You, Jacob Black, are no gentleman."

Jake, the ass, laughed again. "Never claimed to be."

After Izzy got all quiet like, I could see the remorse showin' on Jake's face. "Izzy, I'm sorry. My Ma is always smackin' me for my teasin'."

Izzy gave him a narrow stare. "She should be smackin' ya. All the time."

Jake laughed again. "I hope ya get the chance to meet her someday, she'd like ya."

In the end, there was no hard feelins when we said our goodbyes. Havin' brothers, I was certain that Izzy was used to a fair amount of teasin'.

As we pulled out of town and onto the trail, I looked beside me to find Izzy smilin' and huggin' Jack to her side.

I'd entered this town a single man, and was leavin' it married up proper.

I reckoned I'd never been happier in all my life.

Chapter 40

"Did ya ever have to kill a man Ed? In the war?" Izzy had been quiet for so long as we rode that I'd been afeared she was sleepin' while sittin' up.

When I didn't answer her question right away, she seemed to regret the askin' of it.

"Forgive me; I don't know what I was thinkin'. My Pap always said that I was a might too curious for my own good. I understand if ya don't want to talk about it…"

I switched the reins to my left hand and reached down to squeeze hers that was closest to me. "Izzy, don't fret. I'm fixin' to answer, but recollectin' those days spent in the war ain't somethin' I often do."

It was hard to form the words. Would Izzy think less of me upon hearin' the truth?

It mattered little; for I was determined there'd be no secrets between us.

"I shot a lot of men," I looked ahead at the trail, not lettin' my gaze waver; not wantin' to see the expression on her face. "Some died right then, some mayhap died later, others maybe not at all." I drew in a deep breath. "It was both harder and easier than I reckoned it would be. At the start of the war, I heard fellers like my brother braggin' on how they was gonna kill a hundred Yankees. They was right excited just to think on it. By the time I was old enough to join them, they was battle weary, and most of them just wanted to go home. Emmett still won't talk about the killin'. "

She wrapped her arm around mine and leaned her head against me.

"When you're in the thick of it, I reckon a man's natural instinct to survive kicks in, 'cause when he's faced with kill or be killed, the choice is easy." I paused as I thought about that. "It shouldn't be that easy to kill a man Izzy…."

"It's the livin' with it afterward that's hard. Emmett had the worst of it; he had nightmares for a long while after the war, mayhap he still does…"

"My Pap had nightmares," Izzy telled me in a whisper then. Things was just so bad all the way around when he come home. The nightmares was just a part of it."

She was quiet for a long while afore speakin' again. "What made your brother pick up and move to Texas?"

I smiled, thinkin' 'bout the change in Emmett as soon as he found Rosa.

"He met a girl. Rosa was up from Texas, carin' for her Granny durin' the war, 'cause her Uncles was both away fightin'. Emmett met her just as she was fixin' to return home and he fell hard." I turned to her then to see her smilin' up at me. "The change that come over him was truly somethin' to see. He'd been so quiet since the war. Rosa brought back his smile."

"They corresponded for a time, but Emmett couldn't abide bein' away from her. As soon as he was able to secure promise of steady work in Texas, he packed up and left. A few months later, we received word that he was managin' a farm for some feller and he and Rosa was married."

Izzy seemed to think about that.

"So what made ya decide to leave Tennessee?"

"There was nothin' there for me and Pa any more. The only person I was leavin' behind was Jake. Besides, my Pa was wore out, and me and Emmett had hoped he'd get his strength back in Texas, but it warn't meant to be."

Izzy squeezed my arm. "I'm sorry your Pa couldn't make the journey with ya, Ed."

I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I do miss him, and that's a fact," I telled her, "but I like to think that he may have had a hand in seein' to it that I warn't alone.

Her smile was joyful. "I think maybe he was lookin' out for the both of us."

Chapter 41

About a week after our marriage, Izzy and I found ourselves settlin' into a comfortable routine.

As comfortable as we could be on the trail anyhow.

To make our provisions last longer, I'd taken to huntin' early every mornin', and Izzy would cook us up a fine breakfast.

Since marryin', we also both found particular joy in washin' up together, although most times it delayed our gettin' back on the trail, as I discovered that washin' up with Izzy led to doin' other things with Izzy…

I warn't about to start complainin' though, even if it took us a year to reach Texas.

It was durin' one of those times that I confessed the lie I'd told back when I saw her washin' up in just her shift. At first her face grew red with anger then, in true Izzy fashion, she throwed water all over me.

'Course I couldn't let that stand, so I throwed water on her as well. Afore I knowed it, Izzy got a wicked gleam in her eye.

"Well I reckon I better give ya a better eyeful today, make ya forget the one ya got when ya was a single man." And with them words, she pulled her soakin' wet shift off, and threw it at my head. As soon as I pulled it away and blinked my eyes open, all I could see standin' afore me was a soakin' wet Izzy, naked as the day she was born.

"Isabella Cullen! I'm fair shocked at this behavior," I said the words with a smile as I stalked closer to her. Izzy laughed in my face and took off runnin'.

I didn't have to give much of a chase afore I caught her. I reckoned she planned it that way.

"Whatever will I do with ya now?" I asked her after I'd captured her in my arms.

"Ed, just make sure ya spread the quilt on the ground first, so's we don't sit on a anthill."

I laughed and grabbed the quilt.

***WYiMA***

As we made our way closer to Vicksburg, Izzy spent almost an entire day singin' and rummagin' around in the back of the wagon. Every now and then, I would turn to watch her, until it became clear what she was tryin' to do. She'd been slidin' things to and fro 'til she had just enough room to spread the quilt partway across the bottom of the wagon.

"Tell me the tales that to me were so dear,
Long, long ago, long, long ago,
Sing me the songs I delighted to hear,
Long, long ago, long ago,
Now you are come all my grief is removed,
Let me forget that so long you have roved.
Let me believe that you love as you loved,
Long, long ago, long ago."

"Izzy, what ya doin that for?" I asked, already knowin' the answer.

She sat down on the quilt and smiled at me. "I thought that if I could make it comfortable, we could sleep in here tonight. It might feel almost like we was in a bed again."

"More'n likely it'll feel like we're sleepin' on the floor." I teased.

"Oh hush." She telled me, afore startin' to sing again.

"Do you remember the paths where we met?
Long, long ago, long, long ago.
Ah, yes, you told me you'd never forget,
Long, long ago, long ago.
Then to all others, my smile you preferred,
Love, when you spoke, 
gave a charm to each word.
Still my heart treasures the phrases I heard,
Long, long ago, long ago.

When we stopped for the night, I surprised Izzy by pullin' off the tarp coverin' the rolled up mattress I was carryin' to texas.

"What else ya got under there Ed?"

"The bedframe for the mattress."

Her eyes lit up, "We're gonna have a proper bed once we get to Texas?"

"Yes Ma'am." I answered with a smile.

I unrolled the mattress after makin' a spot for it, not carin' that I'd have to stow it back again the next day. I didn't mind the extra trouble as long as it made Izzy happy. And that mattress did just that.

'Course Jack took to it right away, figurin' it was his bed as well.

I showed him what was what.

I never did give that dog enough credit for his smarts though. The way I figured it, he waited around outside the wagon every night for the sounds of Izzy and me sleepin', afore climbin' up onto that mattress anyhow.

Chapter 42

"Izzy, oh, Izzy…" I called out her name as she clung to me, her body shakin' and quiverin' as we found our release together, pantin' and whisperin' words of love for no one's ears but our own.

I was right proud of the fact that I could fulfill my wife's needs when we joined together. I was fair certain that not every man could boast the same ability. Not that it warn't possible, 'cause the way I seened it, if a feller was willin' to take the time, it was a palpable way to show your wife how much ya love her.

Knowin' that my Izzy was happy, helped take away a portion of the guilt I was feelin' on account of her bein' forced to spend the first weeks of our married life on the trail.

She woke up cheerful every mornin', made the best of the situation at hand, and never complained about that which she couldn't change.

Our days was filled with quiet talk as we rode along, and our nights was spent holdin' onto each other.

I was beyond content.

We were probably about a day's travel from Vicksburg when she started behavin' strangely. She kept fidgetin' in her seat and wrappin' her arms around her middle. After a while of that, she begged me to stop the wagon so's she could relieve herself, but when we started movin' again, she didn't seem no better.

After stoppin' at least four times, with the same result, I begged her to tell me what was ailin' her.

She looked fair mortified as she stared back at me.

"Izzy, I'm your husband, ya can tell me anythin'. I need to know how to help ya."

"Oh, Ed. I don't want to say." She hung her head and looked down at her lap.

I hesitated afore askin' her in a low voice, "Is it your monthly?" I didn't know what else to ask. She'd had it a few days afore, and explained to me 'bout how often she got it.

"No, it's too early for that." She moaned a little, but it warn't the kind of moan I liked to hear.

"Izzy, please." I couldn't bear to see her hurtin'.

She drew in a deep breath. "I just keep gettin' this feelin' like I need to make water, and it burns a little, but when I try to go, most times I cain't and even if I can, it hurts the same after."

If there was ever a time I missed my Ma, it was now. I was fair certain that Izzy was in need of a woman's advice.

I ain't never felt so helpless.

Fortune smiled upon us the next day in the form of a wagon pulled off the side of the trail. Izzy had been feelin' so poorly that she'd gone to lie down in the back some time afore. Knowin' that James Forrest was most likely still on the loose, I was thankful that she was out of sight as I slowed the horses.

I kept a hand on my sidearm, just in case as I come up alongside.

"How do?" I asked the lady standin' in front who was pointin' the barrel of a musket right at me. I didn't miss the glimpse of the young-uns who was peepin' from under the wagon cover.

She eyed me suspiciously. "Ya travellin' alone?"

"No Ma'am, got my wife and dog in the back." I nodded my head toward the place where Jack was lyin' beside Izzy. "Ya'll need help?" I asked, hopin' she'd consider pointin' that firearm away from me.

She stared a beat longer, sizin' me up, afore lowerin' the gun. "Ya don't look like a bandit, so I reckon ya must be tellin' the truth."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Turned out that the Elder family, Ramona and her husband Peter along with three young 'uns, was travellin' the same direction as us. They had stopped, lookin' for a place to pause for the night, when we'd come up on 'em.

We ended up campin' beside 'em, knowin' that sometime the next day we'd go our separate ways as they continued south, and we turned west at Vicksburg.

I was listenin' to Mister Elder talk about leavin' their home just south of where me and Izzy got hitched, headed to his Uncle's farm near Natchez. They was goin' to farm it for him, 'cause work back home had dried up; seemed like times was hard all over the south, and not enough work to go 'round in some places.

Lots of folks was on the move.

While we conversed, I noticed Izzy seated across from us, havin' a heart to heart with Missus Elder. Up until that time, the poor woman had spent the better part of an hour wranglin' her young 'uns to bed, but now there was nothin' but silence comin' from the direction of their wagon.

I smiled to myself, wonderin' if she'd had to knock 'em in the head to put 'em to sleep, 'cause those children was wild. At that exact moment, Izzy looked up and caught me smilin'. She returned it tenfold, and suddenly I was feelin' the need to retire to our wagon and wrap my arms around my Missus.

We warn't long for bed after that.

Knowin' how poorly she'd been for more than a day, I didn't press for nothin' more than holdin' her close. It was enough for now.

The next day, Izzy seemed brighter, happier, closer to bein' her old self. I marveled at the change.

"Izzy, are ya well?" I asked.

She nodded and hugged my arm. "Ramona was heaven sent to me Ed. I'm feelin' right much better today."

Izzy's answer only served to confuse me more. "How'd she help ya Izzy? I was fixin' to have ya see a doctor once we got to Vicksburg."

"If I keep improvin' there won't be a need. For true, all she did was give me some needed advice, and some medicine for pain and such, no more than my Mam would have done if she was here." She sighed afore continuin' in a whisper. "Seems what I got is more common than not for a newly wed woman."

I looked down at her, only to see her red faced and hidin' her eyes from me.

I decided right then and there not to question any further. If Izzy wanted me to know somethin', she'd tell me. I didn't need to go lookin' for more problems then I already had.

The notion of dealin' with women's troubles was a bafflin' one to me. I was afeared that tryin' to solve that puzzle would prove to be more difficult than facin' a whole passel of Yankees armed with nothin' more than my bayonet. If nothin' else, a feller should be aware of his limits.